Loving Myself (a poem).... 1st draft

Loving myself is like opening the fridge and smelling something that is repulsive but not being able to find it.
Loving myself is stepping on something damp with socks on.
Loving myself is wishing for rain on mars, hoping for snow on a Californians beach, dreaming the final chapter is not the end.

Loving myself is growing up a fairly happy child.
Loving myself is words hunting me with dulled arrow heads,
Loving myself is slowly scraping away my determination to survive.
Loving myself is wondering if this is the best lifetime I will live.
Loving myself is often dreaming of another dimension, where sadness was just below the surface and  tears were just an ant hill, not a mountain to defeat.
Loving myself is like crossing the open sea and not expecting to be surrounded by water.
Loving myself is an after thought, nothing but pepper and salt.
Loving myself is a missed communication.
Loving myself is an unsent text message.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Blueberry Pancakes of Patience

I realize being a parent has taught me a great deal of patience. I had always thought of myself as a very easy going person, then I had two not so easy going toddlers trying to wreck every fun time I try to create. I say that in the most lighthearted way that I can. Children can be fun suckers and the moment you try to do anything slightly structured and fun with them they fight, or whine, or throw things and ruin it. I never realized how short my temper was for things like that until I became a mom. Now I feel like every other day is a battle of will power between my kids and I. Today I woke up in a fantastic mood with a great idea of making homemade blueberry pancakes. Easy recipe, I had all the ingredients, I love to cook so I thought that this could be a fun activity to share with the kids. Sure I knew we'd get a little messy, I also knew things wouldn't go to plan but all and all I felt that it would go well. That was until we actually started making the mix, every other
Read more

12/8/18 complaints

Woke up a less accomplished mom today. No energy to feed the children more than yogurt and fruit. I wonder where the me that was energetic playful and productive mom went? Maybe it's the fact that the only alone time i get is so late in the evening and I woke up a different person? Maybe I woke up realizing that I have to work today set the mood. It is a soul sucking job being a server sometimes. I feel like i never saw myself doing it for more than a few years. Ten years later I am still in the industry seeing the same people daily, doing the same repetitive tasks. Asking people how they are? When they don't care how I am. "Fine how are you?" is the programmed response. Instead of telling them, "I am awful, tired covered in ranch and bbq sauce, my feet are tired,my head hurts from not being able to sleep. And I hate this job." But I just smile and take their order, making people feel important is flashing in my face on the computer screen, such a laugh when
Read more